IBR peer pressure

[drscott]

OK, I've decided (after minimal application of peer pressure) to go to IBR this year. I've never been, and in the past I've usually been ignored at bear events. Nothing like reverse prejudice. If I hang out long enough and drink, I'll probably fit in.

I started reading the BML around 1988 and read it for years (until it became unmanageable.) I was all for the idea (and I generally like the "bear type," and certainly bear attitudes) but as it has become more conformist it's lost a lot of its charm. It's particularly worrisome when "no pressure to be slender young hairless things" became "get bigger and fit in."

Maybe if I expound more on this topic I'l get some comments! [heh]

Comments

[orange-groves.livejournal.com]

Have a great time! I'll be bowling Friday and Saturday, and have already decided to give up dating and sex for Lent, so I won't go.

[bluedevilsf.livejournal.com]

Some of the skinny, hairless guys get overlooked and become disillusioned at the lack of inclusiveness.

Some of the musclebears don't like being lumped in with bears in general because they don't want to be perceived as fat or out-of-shape by others.

Some in the bear crowd resent the musclebears over that perception.

*Y A W N*

[excessor.livejournal.com]

I've never experienced the “get bigger and fit in” attitude among bears in general. I realize that may be because I'm already bigger and it's not like I don't suspect at times that people say to themselves “sweetie, get smaller and fit in.”

Due to my suburban isolation, I encountered bears as a group only recently so I don't have a long history with them. What I notice is that bear men tend to just be regular guys who enjoy other regular guys. Everything else seems to be a one-off that makes individuals seem less conformist than in many other groups. For example, I know bears who are involved with the imperial court system, leather bears, food & wine bears, and so on, but their “bearness” seems identifiable and more consistent to other bears than any other characteristic.

I'm losing everyone, aren't I?

Ok, the point is that in bear groups, there appears to be enough room for guys who aren't hairy and who are slim or muscular or not large or fat. Am I wrong? I certainly know people who claim to be dismissed at bear gatherings because they don't look a certain way. But in general, is that true?

[fuzzygruf.livejournal.com]

Be sure to attend the "Red-Head" photo on Sunday afternoon.