Real World meets LJSpace

[drscott]

A friend of mine came up at square dancing and said, "You know, I saw your blog!" I said okay, so what? He said "Well, you were so... revealing!"

Hmm. There's nothing I put up here that I wouldn't happily recount to most of my friends and acquaintances, if there were time and places for that much discussion. If you publish truthful accounts of what has or is happening to you, it is only embarrassing if you have to admit something you're ashamed of. I'm ashamed of very little, and I certainly wouldn't put those stories here.

I do worry a bit about people who discuss their jobs and politics when they still depend on the goodwill of others for their livelihoods. Corporate life being full of cutthroat and petty politics, giving those who might want to hurt you for their own advantage ammunition to do so seems unwise. But privacy per se is really overrated -- what we want is to be more open with people who wish us well, and keep from those who wish us ill any more information about us than is necessary.

The other problem that's come up is that people I mention will sometimes get in a huff over the slightest author's license taken. It's often better for purposes of storytelling to simplify some details and not get bogged down in legalistic perfection. I have a point of view about things, and I'm not above emphasizing some details over others to make my point. So sue me.

Comments

Re:

[dr-scott.livejournal.com]

Good point about the angry queens. Not that I'd use either them or nuclear weapons. :)

I'm not thinking of myself -- I have little to lose. But no one is completely free, and the more embedded you are in a career and dependent on your bosses, the less freedom you have to be yourself. Success in such an environment is partly dependent on managing your image with those who have power over you. A few indiscreet words about partying, drug use, travel while you called in sick, etc., are enough to make you look like a less than reliable person for that next promotion. Not everyone can be themselves -- even if you come out as gay (which is okay in most corporate environments now) you're better off taking care to avoid being tagged as addictive, depressed, ethically challenged, obsessive, or likely to spend more than half your work time blogging.

Everyone should remember that documents on the web will last forever in the archives being built today. Google already reveals more about some people than they'd like, and in 20 years the ability to dredge up page after page of youthful indiscretions about job candidates could be in widespread use by employers. Avoiding this now is fairly easy -- use a pseudonym and alternate email -- but that won't work for much longer.

[goldibehr.livejournal.com]

Everyone should remember that documents on the web will last forever in the archives being built today.

Yeah, I keep reminding myself of this. I suspect that a lot of bloggers don't intimately comprehend this yet.

[excessor.livejournal.com]

One of the advantages to this medium is that you can keep up with the events in someone's life. I like to think that my friends who get bored with what I'm saying can politely scroll through at double speed without having to endure the agony of my retelling a particular event in person.

Embarrassment is in the eye of the beholder. At least here in North America, many men grow up socialized to not speak of feelings and to not express tender emotions. We are trained to not expose our fears and to speak only of our successes, and even then, only when they put us in a good light. One of the cool things about being a gay man of a certain age is that I belong to a group which collectively recognizes that societal pressures are not the same as the truth. This is power.

I, too, worry about the folks who might discuss more here about work than is prudent. Another point, potentially just as risky, is in talking about life and then having those who are truly close to you read with dismay. It can be a truly fine line: I would not intentionally hurt someone without a lot of thought; unintentional hurts spring up everywhere anyway. For example, my ex-thing would be horrified and very upset and very angry about what I have written. Mostly he would be embarrassed because he would think I'm writing about him and therefore his reputation would be sullied. I doubt he would ever get the idea that I'm writing about me and he just happens to make guest appearances from time to time. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. I'd like to slap his mother, since she's the one who made him think he's the center of the universe.

Having a point of view is an essential part of storytelling, which is what we're all doing here anyway. Naturally, some points get emphasized by one author while another author might focus elsewhere in a retelling of the same event. I'm not interested in legalistic perfection; for that, I would go to a police blotter.