Election and Marriage

[drscott]

I voted weeks ago and managed to mostly put the election out of my mind until I started watching the returns while doing cardio at the gym. The results came in almost exactly as you would expect if you'd been looking at the polling sites, and I was resigned to either of the major party candidates winning, so I didn't have any emotional reaction -- actually the most depressing bit was losing all 11 state anti-gay-marriage votes. It's clear in hindsight that nobody (including me) likes having basic family law messed with by what is perceived to be outside forces -- the voters weren't so much anti-gay (though there is still plenty of that) as pro-local control, with the effective propaganda line "don't let unaccountable judges change YOUR marriage!" carrying the day.

What I'd like to see is a longer-term discussion of marriage leading to reforms for everyone -- more choice in the underlying legal obligations to go with the widely varying lifestyles we lead today. trapezebear has a good post up about making the best of the current situation. Monday I had to undertake the symbolically unpleasant step of dissolving our domestic partnership, which required a notarized form sent by certified mail to the Secretary of State of California. On Jan. 1st, the dissolution that took an hour or two will suddenly require a court case -- just like for straight people, but without any of the tax benefits or Federal recognition. Here's an article on the considerations, which are forcing many current DPs to terminate the legal relationship established earlier because of possible loss of benefits, application of community property and support rules, and the loss of freedom to change your arrangements privately.

The rending of garments and gnashing of teeth visible here is painful to watch. Unfortunately too many people live in a bubble of "right-thinking" people who only agree with them, and can't imagine any reasonable person voting for the other candidate. I grew up in a red state (Missouri), fled to a blue state (Massachusetts), and understand pretty well where most people are coming from, so I never get sucked into a "team" that rah-rahs itself into a quasi-religious fervor about what is actually possible in politics.

Michele Catalano wrote a nice piece on the aftermath. If you're feeling low today, it might help you feel a bit better.

Comments

[smiley-kiley.livejournal.com]

I too find it very painful to watch friends here who live in that bubble. I agree with their thinking, but I am a realist to a fault. I hope they will now realize that SF is NOT like the rest of the country. Not by a long shot. All you have to do is look at that swath of red in the electoral map to see that.