Nesting thoughts
May. 17th, 2004 02:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drscottGot an email announcement from VOFs (Very Old Friends) Tom and Tom Guillermo/Reisz that they plan to get married on Thursday at Cambridge City Hall. Mass Avenue was closed in front of the City Hall building last night for what amounted to a street fair and celebration. TnT live about a block away and had midnight-2AM refreshments. Sounds like a wonderful place to have been.
Since they've been together for 31 years and "already have too many toasters and bagel bins," they ask for gift impulses to be directed toward campaign funds for any state legislators that may face difficult races as a result of their support for same-sex marriage rights.
Dear family and friends far away,
Same-sex marriages become legal in Massachusetts starting next week, and we have decided to get married. Below is the announcement/invitation we have sent our local friends. As we say below, while we think it’s a very important event in the history of our state and our nation, it does not represent a big move for us, having had a stable relationship for over 31 years now. So we won’t expect you to show up. But we wanted to share the news with you.
Love,
Tom and Tom
----------
Dear friends,
We are getting married May 20th, and would like to invite you to any or all of the events listed below. Please RSVP in time for us to make arrangements, especially for the first event. I know this invitation is short notice, but we didn’t know the outcome of the challenges by the governor and various organizations. To this day, there’s still the possibility of some higher court blocking the procedure, but it’s unlikely.
We are very excited with this development and proud to be residents of Massachusetts and Cambridge. This is a great day for civil rights.
We are getting married mostly for the political statement it makes and for the few additional perks it will provide having to do with inheritance, insurance, and the ease with which we will be able to claim power of attorney over each other, visitation rights, etc., both here and abroad (Western Europe, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, etc.), where civil unions and, in some cases, same-sex marriages are recognized. But this is not a big defining moment in our relationship. Not like our commitment date in January 1973, 31 ½ years ago, or our 5th, 11th, or 25th anniversary parties. Nor do we feel that this is an important recognition of our relationship. It has been rather your support and acceptance through the years we have been together that counts. It is the recognition of family and friends like you who are a big part of our lives, who have given us comfort and strength, and who have contributed to the longevity of our relationship, that we treasure. Thank you for all you have given us, and for your support of our rights.
We have therefore not written any “meaningful” words of special sentiment for this occasion, nor are we getting dressed up, exchanging rings, or planning a honeymoon. Well, ok, we are going camping in West Virginia for a week in June. But we feel that it would almost be demeaning of our relationship to suddenly replace our commitment date with this current “marriage date”; our relationship is not changing much as a result of this event, except for revisiting a few legal documents. We have always owned everything jointly. And needless to say, we have through the years drafted oodles of legal documents that we will have to hang on to since our marriage will not be recognized in the other 49 states.
All that said, we could conceivably be seized by the emotion of the moment, but please do not come expecting us to.
We also ask you not to give us any presents, please. We are not a starting young couple, and already have too many toasters and bagel bins. If you want to contribute to our celebration with some kind of gift, we will have a list of Massachusetts representatives and senators who have been very supportive of same-sex marriage and whose re-election is being challenged because of it, for you to send a contribution to their campaign. We are actively working at assembling such a list, but it is a little early and we only have about 6 names; the political reality will not reveal itself for a few weeks at the very least. The makeup of the next state legislature is critical for the future of our state, not just for the same-sex marriage issue, but to protect us from the likes of Romney and Bush.
Thanks, and hope to see you all at some of the events.
Tom and Tom
THE EVENTS YOU’RE INVITED TO:
Sunday evening, May 16, starting at 10:30 PM: Cambridge City Hall is sponsoring a celebration, and opening the City Clerk’s offices at midnight for anyone who wants to get a marriage license at the first available opportunity. There will be a party atmosphere, like a street fair we assume, but we don’t know exactly what it will consist of, except that there will be free wedding cake and refreshments. We know several couples who are planning to be there. We’re sure that TV stations will be there, possibly national TV as well, and perhaps the hateful Reverend Phelps group from Kansas. We will serve onion soup (or some other hot soup) at our place probably around 1 AM or maybe 2 AM, or whenever we get tired of the street celebrations. There will be room for a few to stay the night at our place, and probably at the homes of some of our Central Square friends and neighbors too.
Thursday, May 20, 4:30 PM: we will be married by the Cambridge City Clerk, Margaret Drury, or perhaps City Councillor Denise Simmons, in the Cambridge City Hall--the city has reserved four justices of the peace for the occasion that day. There is room for guests, and the event will take 15 minutes. This is the first day anyone can be legally married without some special request approved by a judge.
Thursday, May 20, 6:00 PM: we will have wine, cheese, and chocolate cake at our house to celebrate the event. Feel free to show up for this party and skip the official ceremony.
Saturday, May 22, 4:00 PM: we will have a party, hopefully in the garden, and we will serve assemble-your own tacos and other Mexican snacks and drinks.
Sunday, May 22, 4:00 PM: we will have another party, again hopefully in the garden, and we will serve assemble-your own tacos and other Mexican snacks and drinks. You might be stuck with a leftover or two.
On the home front, our pair of young mourning doves have been trying for months to build a nest on the shelf provided by a light fixture next to our patio door. They patiently bring sticks and material, only to have them swept off the slick surface by wind. A mounting pile of detritus on the ground under the fixture testifies to their efforts.
Yesterday Mike spent some time sunning himself and started to chafe at the constant overflights by stick-carrying doves, so he put an obstacle (a pot) on the shelf to discourage them. The doves then started to build a nest inside the pot. Mike put bamboo sticks in the pot to make it unusable. The doves continued to fly up to the shelf, then stop in midair as they realized there was no place to land. Hours later they are still doing it. Which is why they call them "bird brains."
Moral? There is something wired into our brains that wants to build a nest. And if some higher power manipulates the environment to make it impossible for us, we'll keep on trying, no matter how futile the effort.
Since they've been together for 31 years and "already have too many toasters and bagel bins," they ask for gift impulses to be directed toward campaign funds for any state legislators that may face difficult races as a result of their support for same-sex marriage rights.
Dear family and friends far away,
Same-sex marriages become legal in Massachusetts starting next week, and we have decided to get married. Below is the announcement/invitation we have sent our local friends. As we say below, while we think it’s a very important event in the history of our state and our nation, it does not represent a big move for us, having had a stable relationship for over 31 years now. So we won’t expect you to show up. But we wanted to share the news with you.
Love,
Tom and Tom
----------
Dear friends,
We are getting married May 20th, and would like to invite you to any or all of the events listed below. Please RSVP in time for us to make arrangements, especially for the first event. I know this invitation is short notice, but we didn’t know the outcome of the challenges by the governor and various organizations. To this day, there’s still the possibility of some higher court blocking the procedure, but it’s unlikely.
We are very excited with this development and proud to be residents of Massachusetts and Cambridge. This is a great day for civil rights.
We are getting married mostly for the political statement it makes and for the few additional perks it will provide having to do with inheritance, insurance, and the ease with which we will be able to claim power of attorney over each other, visitation rights, etc., both here and abroad (Western Europe, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, etc.), where civil unions and, in some cases, same-sex marriages are recognized. But this is not a big defining moment in our relationship. Not like our commitment date in January 1973, 31 ½ years ago, or our 5th, 11th, or 25th anniversary parties. Nor do we feel that this is an important recognition of our relationship. It has been rather your support and acceptance through the years we have been together that counts. It is the recognition of family and friends like you who are a big part of our lives, who have given us comfort and strength, and who have contributed to the longevity of our relationship, that we treasure. Thank you for all you have given us, and for your support of our rights.
We have therefore not written any “meaningful” words of special sentiment for this occasion, nor are we getting dressed up, exchanging rings, or planning a honeymoon. Well, ok, we are going camping in West Virginia for a week in June. But we feel that it would almost be demeaning of our relationship to suddenly replace our commitment date with this current “marriage date”; our relationship is not changing much as a result of this event, except for revisiting a few legal documents. We have always owned everything jointly. And needless to say, we have through the years drafted oodles of legal documents that we will have to hang on to since our marriage will not be recognized in the other 49 states.
All that said, we could conceivably be seized by the emotion of the moment, but please do not come expecting us to.
We also ask you not to give us any presents, please. We are not a starting young couple, and already have too many toasters and bagel bins. If you want to contribute to our celebration with some kind of gift, we will have a list of Massachusetts representatives and senators who have been very supportive of same-sex marriage and whose re-election is being challenged because of it, for you to send a contribution to their campaign. We are actively working at assembling such a list, but it is a little early and we only have about 6 names; the political reality will not reveal itself for a few weeks at the very least. The makeup of the next state legislature is critical for the future of our state, not just for the same-sex marriage issue, but to protect us from the likes of Romney and Bush.
Thanks, and hope to see you all at some of the events.
Tom and Tom
THE EVENTS YOU’RE INVITED TO:
Sunday evening, May 16, starting at 10:30 PM: Cambridge City Hall is sponsoring a celebration, and opening the City Clerk’s offices at midnight for anyone who wants to get a marriage license at the first available opportunity. There will be a party atmosphere, like a street fair we assume, but we don’t know exactly what it will consist of, except that there will be free wedding cake and refreshments. We know several couples who are planning to be there. We’re sure that TV stations will be there, possibly national TV as well, and perhaps the hateful Reverend Phelps group from Kansas. We will serve onion soup (or some other hot soup) at our place probably around 1 AM or maybe 2 AM, or whenever we get tired of the street celebrations. There will be room for a few to stay the night at our place, and probably at the homes of some of our Central Square friends and neighbors too.
Thursday, May 20, 4:30 PM: we will be married by the Cambridge City Clerk, Margaret Drury, or perhaps City Councillor Denise Simmons, in the Cambridge City Hall--the city has reserved four justices of the peace for the occasion that day. There is room for guests, and the event will take 15 minutes. This is the first day anyone can be legally married without some special request approved by a judge.
Thursday, May 20, 6:00 PM: we will have wine, cheese, and chocolate cake at our house to celebrate the event. Feel free to show up for this party and skip the official ceremony.
Saturday, May 22, 4:00 PM: we will have a party, hopefully in the garden, and we will serve assemble-your own tacos and other Mexican snacks and drinks.
Sunday, May 22, 4:00 PM: we will have another party, again hopefully in the garden, and we will serve assemble-your own tacos and other Mexican snacks and drinks. You might be stuck with a leftover or two.
On the home front, our pair of young mourning doves have been trying for months to build a nest on the shelf provided by a light fixture next to our patio door. They patiently bring sticks and material, only to have them swept off the slick surface by wind. A mounting pile of detritus on the ground under the fixture testifies to their efforts.
Yesterday Mike spent some time sunning himself and started to chafe at the constant overflights by stick-carrying doves, so he put an obstacle (a pot) on the shelf to discourage them. The doves then started to build a nest inside the pot. Mike put bamboo sticks in the pot to make it unusable. The doves continued to fly up to the shelf, then stop in midair as they realized there was no place to land. Hours later they are still doing it. Which is why they call them "bird brains."
Moral? There is something wired into our brains that wants to build a nest. And if some higher power manipulates the environment to make it impossible for us, we'll keep on trying, no matter how futile the effort.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-05-17 02:47 pm (UTC)Here's an article on much smarter birds:
http://www.economist.com/printedition/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=2668085
Nice post
Date: 2004-05-17 09:08 pm (UTC)The analogy of the mourning doves and gay marriage (the moral that is) was well put.
Thanks for sharing!